I was in Madison last night, enjoying time with friends and celebrating a friend's recent engagement. We were at a bar, but I decided not to drink because I had to drive the hour home. I headed out about 11:00pm. While I was driving, I began to contemplate the difference between pain and shame (I might write on that later). And while I was musing off in my head, a deer ran out in front of me, I slammed on my brakes, my car fishtailed for a while over my lane, and I ended up on the shoulder of the road. If the deer hit my car, it must have only grazed the side of it because it left no mark.
The most baffling part of the whole experience was probably how detached I was from the whole experience. There was no tension of anxiety or fear, no panic tightening of the wheel, no urgent prayers as I lost control of my car. Just me thinking abstractly that it would probably be wise to steer my car into a straight direction as best as possible and slow down in the process.
This made me wonder- if we put a legal limit on the amount of alcohol one has in your system because it impairs your ability to see, react, and make proper judgments, should we restrict the level of abstract thought when driving because it seemingly impairs my natural reaction to danger? (I don't think I saw the deer any later or reacted any slower necessarily, but I definitely was not engaged with how to control my car after I started to swerve. My friend and fellow philosophy major Abby experienced a similar thing as she was considering Berkeley and metaphysical realism (she's smart, in case you couldn't tell).
So here's my modest proposal for a rough equivalency for alcohol levels and the legal philosophical depth level (LPDL):
Alcohol-Level Philosophical Equivalent
Completely Sober Sports Center, iCarly
Buzzed, Light-headed Philosophy for Dummies, a really good fortune cookie
Tipsy, Really Giddy Good political/religious conversation with friends
Drunk Descartes, G. E. Moore,
Wasted Drunk Most existentialists, most Russian authors/playwrights
Blacking-out Questioning your existence, Thinking about what causes you to think
Alcohol Poisoning Hegel
Anybody at the Tipsy-level would be subject to a warning, and anything more would be subject to citation for negligent driving. Let me know if you think the system's fair :)
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